Not too long ago, I hosted a giveaway for my first Mel’s Mob Brunch (did you catch the brunch goodness over on the ‘gram?). Unfortunately, one of my good friends couldn’t make it, but she purchased a ticket anyway to show her support, which we gave away to a member of my IG fam. To enter, you had to submit some blog topic ideas, and I was blown away by how many amazing ones we received. One came from a new college student about to embark on this exciting new journey, and it really took me back to my early college days. And since it’s back-to-school season, I figured what better time than to chat about life at 18?!

Whew! Y’all–at 18 years old, I thought I knew EVERYTHING. There wasn’t a topic in this world or a life lesson I didn’t already know…or so I thought. I was so ready to be grown (adulthood is a scam, kids, never grow up, LOL), go to college, pledge a sorority, and make new friends. As I write this, I realize 18 was 14 years ago! Goodness, I’m getting old.

Now that I’ve lived a little, I can really reflect on the life lessons I’ve learned both the easy and hard way. Here are a few things I would’ve told 18-year-old Melissa Chanel.

– Relax! Enjoy each and every moment of this journey. We’re always rushing through life, looking forward to the next thing. Sometimes we need to sit in the moment and allow the lessons of NOW to teach us all they need to.

– Focus on your education first and the rest will fall into place. College isn’t for everyone, but if you’re currently enrolled or plan to enroll, don’t discount the connections and information available on campus or online. It’s more than just schoolwork–focusing on your education teaches discipline, meeting deadlines, and follow-through. All of those things are CRUCIAL when you enter into the working world! Focus on killing it where you are and watch how those things propel you further in life.   

– Take the internship, all of them! Get experience and network. You’re never too good to pay your dues early on. Internships help you build life skills, as well as help you develop soft skills that’ll be helpful once you’re hired full-time. Humble yourself, make yourself available to help out where needed, build loose connections around the company, and SOAK UP INFO LIKE A SPONGE. It’ll give you a leg up when it’s time to apply for the real deal.

– It’s okay to change your major or to not know exactly what you want to do in life. Who really knows what they want to do for the rest of their life at age 18? Don’t listen to the people who say you have to pick a major and stick with it. It’s your future–create it!

– Smile. It’ll change your mood and make you more approachable. It really does make a world of difference, especially for those with Resting B*tch Face.

– Study hard. That goes for school & your craft. Whatever you set out to do, strive to MASTER it.

– Build a tribe of accountability partners. We all mess up and set goals that we forget to stick to. Find some people within your friend group and/or outside of it that’ll keep you honest and hold you to the things you promised yourself to do. You won’t regret it!

– Don’t take all your books and notebooks to class the first day! You’ll feel extra prepared at first, and then suddenly feel like you’re wasting your back muscles lugging it around, LOL!

– It’s okay to feel homesick–go see your family.  No one gets a gold medal for holding out on much needed family time! If you can, escape home to spend time with the people who keep you grounded. It’ll help you adjust to the new transition throughout the year.

– Meet new people, but also observe. Not everyone’s going to be your BFF, and not everyone has your best interest at heart. Make new friends, but also use wisdom and be mindful of who will be helpful, and which friends are potentially toxic. #NoBadVibes!

– Everyone is NOT your friend. Remember that. See above, and keep that in mind always. Nothing worse than being blindsided when someone suddenly switches up.  

– Attend seminars, workshops, and join a few organizations. This goes back to mastering your craft. Whatever you’re interested in, set out to learn all you can about it. Then, build networks of people who are just as passionate. You’ll level up in every area!

–  Make time for YOU! Rest. Being the social butterfly is exhausting for even the most outgoing of people! Set time for you and only you. Have regular check-ins with yourself. Fight FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) and stay home sometime. Your mental health will thank you.

– Leave that damn boy ALONE. Don’t let him waste your time! If he’s showing toxic behavior, chuck the deuces early.

– College is a time for you to focus on yourself, explore options, meet new people, and laugh….A LOT! No matter what, always keep your own personal growth and experiences first. Be mindful of how much you give of yourself, and how much you compromise on things that matter to you. At the end of the day, you want to leave school with the feeling that YOU’VE grown as a person and are ready to enter into the working world fierce & fearless!

– All of your friends won’t want to experience this journey with you and that’s fine. Not every friendship or relationship is meant to last forever. Don’t be afraid to let someone go when their season is up!

– Tell people NO and feel okay with your decision. Becoming a “Yes” woman is exhausting. People think they’re free to walk all over you and make decisions for you. Instead, say NO and say it often. You’ll find your voice and gain confidence much faster that way!

– Work that summer job, sis…maybe even two! Keep coins in your pocket at all times. Even if it’s just a little spending money here and there, you always want to enter into the new school year with money in your savings account so you can get a head-start on money management. Because baby, this real world is no joke! Saving, budgeting, BILLS…it’ll eat you alive! Practice it all while you can, before adulthood comes to scam you, LOL.

…and last but certainly not least…DELTA SIGMA THETA was the ONLY way! l’m proud of you for joining the sisterhood!

Okay, those are mine…What are some pieces of advice you’d give your 18-year-old self?

XOXO,

MC