Whew! Where do I even start?! I’ve been keeping you guys up to date thus far with all things Carnegie Wedding 2020; if you haven’t already, check out my first update here. 

2020 has been filled with SO MANY twists and turns. From the whole country being shut down, trying to stay safe and sane during a pandemic, and the emotional toll heightened racial injustice takes (stop killing us!), planning a wedding during all of this has almost been too much to handle. I’ve had a few breakdowns during this process, and have probably cried every day for a week due to just feeling overwhelmed with it all. Why is it this hard to marry the love of my life?! Me and Corona got beef, y’all.

We decided early on that we’d shift our date and move our ceremony to 2021. Since we both have older parents, grandparents, and aunts that have preexisting conditions,  we wouldn’t be able to live with ourselves if we got anyone sick because we decided to go through with our ceremony. It was a tough decision, but we’re both happy with it. Luckily our venue, DJ, decorator, and caterer have all been super flexible; we didn’t have any issues pushing our date back. Small wins!

Not gonna lie, being a pandemic bride has tested our relationship in ways I wouldn’t have imagined. Hell, 2020 as a whole has caused us to make some really tough decisions, but it’s challenged us to level up our communication even more and stay in tune with each other at every turn. We have to have honest conversations about what we want, what we’re disappointed about, and making sure that we’re both heard as we make so many adjustments and compromises for our big day. Isa and I are both big on communication, so we talk A LOT. (I prayed for someone who communicates well, and God was like…”Say less!”) This year has brought us closer than ever before, and even though it caused a few disagreements, we always emerge on the other side stronger than ever so that we can move forward. We have to always remember that it’s not Me versus Him, but rather US versus The Problem. I didn’t think it was possible to love Isa more than I do, but every day, the love grows stronger. 

Pushing our date back was a huge decision, but if 2020 has taught me anything, it’s taught me how to PIVOT. Just like I feel like if you can make it in NYC, you can make it anywhere, and I feel the same way about making it through 2020, LOL. I’ve been trying hard to stay focused and bring my A game at work, learning how to be a great Bonus Mom and soon-to-be Wife, and on top of that, I’m figuring out how to pivot this whole wedding I’ve planned. It’s a lot, but I’m built for this.

I couldn’t wait another 7 months to become Mrs. Carnegie, so on our original wedding date, September 24th, I will officially become Mrs. Melissa Carnegie! We’ll be getting married in an intimate garden ceremony here in Charlotte, and then on March 12, 2021, we’ll do it all over again in a traditional ceremony with family and friends. We’re excited about this next chapter in our lives, and can’t wait to call each other husband and wife. 

If you’re a pandemic bride, here are a few things that have helped me manage stress during this uncertain and stressful time. 

1. It’s OKAY to pivot: Do what feels right and don’t feel bad about it. This is YOUR day! If your original plan isn’t looking realistic right now, surrender and rethink the plans. The only ones you need to focus on pleasing are you and your soon-to-be hubby or wife.

2. COMMUNICATE with your significant other, first on plans, and then on how you guys would like to move forward. 

3. COMPROMISE. When in a relationship, you’ll do a lot of compromising anyway, but when it comes to wedding planning (especially in a pandemic), you’ll need to get comfortable compromising even more. This isn’t solely your day. Communicate with your partner and always try to make things a win-win for you both.

 4. READ THOSE CONTRACTS! I can’t stress this enough, but make sure you’re reading your contracts before signing them. Make sure your venue has a COVID plan in place in case you need to change dates around.

5. BE HAPPY! It’s okay if things don’t go as planned. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you and your partner are doing forever together. Plans change, but your love is forever. Keep that perspective and know that the MARRIAGE is the most important part, not the wedding. 

Oh! No Bachelorette and or Bridal Shower? Don’t feel bad; we’ve had to cancel ours, too. My bridesmaids did a surprise Zoom bachelorette party, and we did a champagne toast to the celebration that would have been. I love my ladies, and I’m so glad I have them in my corner during all of this. I hope your support system is just as strong.

Any more tips? Drop them below for our fellow pandemic brides. We’ll get through this together, ladies! 

Until next time!

XOXO,